Disappointing meeting

I'm writing an essay about the meeting in Canfield. I thought we were going to be able to get Mom into a clinical trial for one of the two Alzheimer's medications that are in the news. The clinical trials on Flurizan and Alzemed are closed. There is no recruiting going on for them. A man asked, "When will the medications be available?" The two researchers, one from the University Memory and Aging Center at Case Western Reserve and the other from Alzheimer Research Center at the University of Pittsburgh, concurred that it will be at least three or four years. The man spoke so everyone could hear, "That's not soon enough."

When we started out, I thought I had to be at my mother's side from that very moment. She took the news so hard. But she and Dad insisted that it was not the time. They didn't expect me to be there every day because I have a family and home of my own to take care of. And so I backed off. It took a lot for me to back off. But, I did. Now I'm at the juncture in the road where I think it's time for me to be there more. And that's OK.

I was going to look for a job. We need a new kitchen range/oven and refrigerator. I need a car. I'm thinking of asking Mom how upset would she be if I used her car for a while. That would take care of that need. I think I need to take my computer to work at their house. It would make things easier for Dad if I'm around. Everything else has settled down pretty much, I think. DD4 will move to the college campus next month. DD3 is either working, with her fiance, or friends or her sisters so I think it's OK now for me to be at Mom & Dad's.

It's not that I want to stop living my life to take care of them. It's that I need to blend their needs into my routine. I need to be there for them because someday I will be the needy one and I hope that there will be someone who will want to take care of me.