When I began this blog my mother had Alzheimer's and I was trying to track the progression of the disease. When she passed away in 2011 I didn't want to let go of the blog. So I kept going, post-Alzheimer's ... remembering things that happened, conversations, just everything as it came to me. And then it became a blog about my changes and growth after my mother left this Earth.
I haven't been very good about keeping it up. Some things seemed so personal that I couldn't bring myself to share them with the Universe. (And the Internet IS a universe unto itself, maybe.) Sometimes things are better left unspoken. And maybe by blogging about those things I was wasting my precious emotional reactions on a blog instead of injecting them into the characters in my stories. (Yes, I am a writer.)
Mom has been gone for more than five years. Life has gone on with me and sometimes without me. I may not have had a lot of time to process things as they have occurred, but I am taking the time now and if nobody understands that, so be it. But for me, I have to take some time. I don't think we are any good for anyone else if we aren't good for ourselves and each of us has to figure that one out by ourselves. Nobody can do it for us.
I'll try to be more regular in my posts. Maybe I still have a reader or two. Maybe I don't. But someone somewhere may have a need sometime and a guide will direct them to these pages. I hope my words will help someone.
(c) 2016 Cathy Thomas Brownfield
All rights reserved.
