She used to worry...

...that she would get to a point where nobody would be able to stand being around her.

Dad has his own dragons to slay. He's with Mom 24/7/365. When he can't handle things any longer he goes to the garage or the backyard to putter. To relieve his frustrations he waits until we are alone to roll his eyes and vent. I know he loves Mom or he wouldn't still be there with her. He feels a strong commitment to being there. It might have something to do with the day I said, "She always stood by you, Dad. It wasn't always easy. You need to stand by her, now. She needs you to do that, now."

But I know that it's hard for him to be there all the time, to hear her say the same thing a dozen times...What time is it? What day is it? What time is it? And it used to be hard to tell when something she said was really so or a story. Now the stories are obvious. Dad gets upset with her. The rest of us -- who don't live there 24/7/365 -- just go along with what she says without getting the least bit perturbed. We can walk away, leave them in the safety of their four walls, and not have to go back for a day, a weekend, or a week.

Awhile back I asked Dad to get the motorhome running so we can go camping. Mom keeps saying she'd like to go camping. He told me a couple of days ago that he's almost got things ready so Mom and I can go camping. If I can manage it, we will go camping on weekends until the weather won't permit it any longer, because that's what Mom wants and it seems the very least I can do when her days and years are waning. Waiting another year til next spring may be too long. We've spent too long already thinking, "Someday..." Someday never comes.

Dad deserves time off for being there all the time. He needs to be able to kick back and put his feet up and just be without being on duty constantly to prevent fires on top of the stove when she forgets to shut off burners. And clean out things that Mom won't tend to and gets mad at him when she sees him working around the house.

I'm returning to the college classroom to complete my BA in English...minor in writing...Honors College. I'm trying to finish in a year so my parents can see one of their children graduate from college...with honors. They have always been there, always done their best for their children. I want them to see this.

She's looking for hope.

Stormy weather

Stormy weather hit our town and everyplace else across the state yesterday and motivated its way over Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware and D.C. And lots of other places across the country. The humidity and heat is record-shattering, and one can't help the global warming/greenhouse effect issues coming to mind.

Mom and Dad are staying inside as much as they can. But the steamy windows bother Dad. The central air was on cooling the inside of the house, but the heat outside was so intense, it created vapors on the windows. And they got into a bickering match about it. It's no big deal if the windows steam up. But to Dad it was.

I bought Omega 3 Fish Oil a couple of weeks ago and gave a bottle of it to Mom. If the Alzheimer's research people are doing a clinical trial for this, there might be something to it. It can't hurt. Might help. Mom started to take it immediately, as did I. But remembering to take the time for gulping down these horsepills is an issue for me. It's not so much forgetting as taking the time. Slow down for 30 seconds and take it. What's 30 seconds? Half a minute.

And it's all like chasing the wind. Why am I in a hurry going nowhere?

Mom is always happy to see me when I walk in the door. I need to walk in the door more often. Dad's happy to see me too. He told me he doesn't know how he'd handle all this without me. Well, someone else would help him...maybe. I don't know. I am concerned how I'm going to go to college 12-15 hours a semester for the next 1-2 years and help him and Mom, too. But my brother said I have to live my life for me, so I will do this. Educate a woman and you educate a family.