The Hummingbird is gone from us now. Her passing was sudden and unexpected..."failed to thrive." She just wasn't strong enough to recover. And I can't say that I am sorry to see her suffering end. But I do miss her. We all do. This week also saw the demise of her last sibling, the third death of siblings since February 27. Uncle Ed (Ira) passed away Feb. 27, Mom on Aug. 23, and Uncle Dale on Oct. 8. I just hope that's the end for a while. I steeled myself to go into the funeral home last night. Lucille was falling apart the moment she walked in the door. She's one of the Spruce Street Gang. So many losses in that neighborhood in just the past 2-1/2 years, and her own husband is among that number. I shook away my own grief and reached out to comfort Uncle Dale's family.
I do that a lot, put my own feelings aside. I've come to the conclusion that's not a good idea. When you don't allow yourself to feel your feelings, you become numb and lose contact with the person you are inside. I'm trying to change that. At my age, shouldn't I know who I am and why I am, and shouldn't the why I am be more than just taking care of everyone around me? Shouldn't there be something more?
So, the blog that I began to document my mother's journey through Alzheimer's will take a new turn. I will write more about...life. Family. Me. Not that I'm selfish. But maybe I'm too selfless. That's the opposite end of the extremes. I want to be more middle of the road. ;)
Will I pick up more followers? I don't know. I have a grand total of 2. (Bless you both for taking the time and interest.)
(c) 2011 Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ All rights reserved.
7 comments:
What a great intro to the new chapter of Hummingbird! I will definitely be reading! Count me among one of your followers!
I'll be following too, if I can. I can put a link to your blog on mine, if you want.
We all suffer losses, Cathy. How we manage to move on is what makes us what we are. After Ivan died I was on my own--for probably the first time in my life. I've done more things and had more fun than I've ever done in my life since then. I think he's smiling down when he sees me moving on. It was one of his last wishes for me. May you do likewise!
Different roads,different views and new things to understand.
when we think about it,babies in a Family usually come in bunches.
Dad just died three years ago and already he has five g-grandchildren he never got to hold and love.
I don't know how to attach a blog anywhere so I can follow it,but when friends have their blog as part of their email signature I frequently read them.
Your post was so true-for all of us.
Jay
Thank you, my wonderful fiends. :) Teri, thank you for your support and encouragement. Ron, thank you for the offer of linking my blog to yours. Um, how can I reciprocate? Janet, thanks for your good wishes. And Jay, thanks for inviting me that long ago day to be a part of JWW!
Cathy,
It looks like you have more than two followers!
I'm a fellow MomWriter, and I've been subscribed via Google Reader for quite a while. Your blog has been a wonderful testament to the humanity hidden beneath that beast called Alzheimer's.
I look forward to where you take this blog in the future.
Rebecca Burgener
Then maybe it's time to put the link for this blog back in my signature lines. Thanks, Rebecca. :)
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