Progress

Progress can be good or it can be bad. Maybe it can even be good AND bad.

For some time I told my parents that when something happened to Dad, Mom would not be able to stay alone. She insisted she wanted to stay in the house where she raised her children...We moved here when I was 4 years old. I am the eldest.

Dad passed away on March 18. We found that with repetition, Mom came to the point where she could remember that Dad is gone. She may say, "Where's Bill?" But almost immediately she will say, "Oh, that's right. He's gone, isn't he?" Not bad for someone in late stage Alzheimer's.

Mom has created a new task for me. She is still crocheting, at work on a tablecloth. But she can't get the individual pieces (blocks) to fit together right. So after I graduate from college in two weeks she is going to crochet the blocks and I'm going to piece them together. I guess they aren't really blocks. They are circles, so when they are pieced together, smaller blocks/circles will fill in the empty spaces between the circles. We will do this together, just as we've gone through the AD together.

There are difficult days, as anyone who has dealt with AD or is dealing with it now can tell you. One moment my mother can be delightfully happy. She walks into another room and less than five minutes later can return over-the-top angry and combative. I remember that Dad told me when they were in the car and he was driving, if he made her angry she didn't just hit him, she pummeled him. He stopped taking her in the car unless he absolutely had to. She hasn't threatened me in any way, but she has been angry with me.

Fortunately, I have two fantastic brothers. When I text them and say, "Need you now," they are here as quickly as they can get here. (Fast.) My sister-in-law and my daughters are here to back me up when I need to go to class. Neighbors are available to sit with Mom if I need them. There is a wonderful support system here.

But how long will our arrangement work? Well, we take things just one day at a time. Sometimes we take things one hour at a time, or one minute at a time. So far this is working.

Bless you, wherever you are, as you deal with your Alzheimer's situation.