Happy Birthday!

Today is my mother's 80th birthday. I wanted to take her out for ice cream to celebrate, but the temperature was so close to frigid I just couldn't bring myself to take her out. So, my husband and I took flowers to her.

"Do you feel any different at 80 than you did at 79?" I asked.

"I can't believe I'm 80 years old!" she said. And I immediately thought about her mother's 80th birthday.

Grandma never told anyone her age. And when she had to go to the emergency room for treatment the doctor asked her how old she was. "Don't you know you aren't supposed to ask a woman her age?" She refused to tell him how old she was. But on her 80th birthday--which party was at my home--she kept saying, "I can't believe I'm 80 years old!"

I reminded Mom of that again. She doesn't remember. When I was there a couple of days ago she couldn't remember that Dad has been gone for nearly two years. "Did you see your dad go over there?" She pointed toward the other side of the room.

"No. Mom, Dad is gone. He will be dead two years in March."

Today I looked into her blue eyes. She still knows us, and I can't explain what I saw there. I looked at the table settings and asked who she sits with for supper. She asked, "Don't you remember Fred?" And I felt silly for asking the question I did. Nobody else was brought to her table. I wondered why as we got ready to leave.

She isn't argumentative as she used to be. Someone mentioned it was her birthday and other residents called Happy Birthday to her. And Sunday, we will bring her to my house for a birthday party with family and she will receive more greetings and enjoy food unlike what she eats at the nursing home. And maybe for a little while we will forget that things have changed so drastically. I understand she's top winner at Uno even though she tells them she has never played the game before.

Happy Birthday, Mom!